As a Phillies fan who has attended games for 39 years, I can't tell you how many times I have seen them clinch the National League East Division championship in person.
Well then let's start with an easy one, were you there last year?
I saw it today.
So did more than 40,000 others. Were you there last year?
By my count, this is the eighth time they have won the division in those four decades. I have been there for World Series victories and I was there the night they clinched the National League pennant in 1993. That was crazy.
Good for you. Were you there last year?
The only year the Phillies won the World Series - 1980 - they clinched the division in Montreal. So, basically, I don't remember being there for a division-clinching game, although it's possible.
First of all - fuck the heck? You don't remember if you were Montreal when Mike Schmidt hit his 48th home run of the season to seal the deal? Wow. I wasn't there, but, and maybe it's just me and it's just because that season was so special and because I was 12 years old, but the call still echoes in my head:
Harry Kalas: Swing and a long drive... Deep left field...I got goosebumps typing that. But back to the point - were you there last year or not?
Andy Musser: He buried it! He buried it!
Harry Kalas: Way back... That ball's outta here! Home run Mike Schmidt puts the Phillies up 6-4!
Andy Musser: Whoo!
Harry Kalas: What a drive by Schmidt, unbelieveable, he hit that ball deep to the seats in left field. Mike is clapping his hands, he's shaking hands with all his teammates. What a wild scene here in Montreal!
Some observations:
I guess we'll never know. So what was the point of that steaming cup of nonsense? Perhaps a lead-in to this steaming pile of, well, you decide.
It was really cool, even though I purchased my standing-room-only tickets exactly six hours before the game.
I don't need anyone to tell me that being at the game when they clinch the division is "really cool" - but hey thanks. You really earned your money with this post. Plus, who cares when you got your tickets and why the need to say it was "exactly" six hours before the game?
Jamie Moyer is the man. Three months younger than me, the guy is my hero. Six innings, six hits, one run. Say no more.
What kind of sportswriting is this? The only thing that your age tells me is that you were 18 years old in 1980. So you don't remember if you went to Montreal for the Phillies clincher when you were 18? It was October, so maybe you were in college somewhere? Really? Still drawing a blank? Yikes.
Hey, maybe I'm being mean, I wouldn't trust this guy to tell me the time or the weather, let alone his analysis of a sporting event. Although Jamie Moyer was spectacular. Maybe he heard one of the fans standing next to him say that and decided to write it down.
Jimmy Rollins isn't lighting it up at the plate, but the man is a great shortstop.
Whatever.
Temple played a dreadful football game across the street. I believe there were more people in the lower level first-base-side restroom at Citizens Bank Park than watching the Owls at Lincoln Financial Field.
First of all, yuck. What would possess someone to write this? I don't ever want to imagine anyone in a public restroom anywhere. Why not say "there were more people in line for a beer" or "there were more people at Bulls BBQ?" Seriously, that was unecessary and gross. Second of all, why did Temple suddenly appear in an article about the Phillies? Do you have ADD or something?
Abner's cheesesteaks are OK, but I should have gone to Pat's. My bad.
Apparently you do. Nonetheless, while I admit it's been a few years since I've been to Abner's, I love their cheesesteaks and prefer them over the much-hyped competing duo of Pat's and Geno's. Still, it's hard to argue that you shouldn't have gone to Pat's if you don't say why.
Ryan Madson is not dependable. Sorry.
Okay, after a detour to the Owls football game and a cheesesteak break, we're back to game analysis. And you're just wrong. Madson gave up one earned run in 13 appearances (14 innings) in September. That's an 0.64 ERA. He struck out 17 and walked one. One! Can you get any wronger?
Pat Burrell is clueless. Same inning: Trots down to first for a base on balls only to be called back to home because the count is three balls and two strikes. Moments later, he's at second base with one out. His teammate hits a little looper that is tracked down by an infielder. Big Pat is galloping around third and the Nationals flip to second to double off Burrell and end the inning.
Apparently you can. Is this the only game you've seen Pat play this year? Sure, he looked silly during that inning. But it would be hard to find a sample size smaller than that by which to judge any player, let alone Burrell.
Try the American League, Pat. It's less taxing.
Try watching more games you steaming cup of spit. He carried this team (along with Chase Utley) while Ryan Howard was hitting .200. Plus, not resigning him for next season would be a mistake. Get your head out of where steaming piles come from. Oh, wait, like above, maybe he just heard one of the fans near him say it and decided to write that down too. It all makes sense now.
I have no idea where the Phillies are going in this postseason. In fact, I have my doubts. But they are there, in the mix, which was not the case for more than 30 of my suffering seasons with this club.
I have no idea what the point was of this steaming cup of insanity. In fact, I have my doubts that you are even a professional writer. But you are here, on the internets, which I wish wasn't the case because I had to spend more than 30 suffering minutes reading and ranting about your post.
Give 'em a puncher's chance.
Actually, the oddsmakers favor the Phillies to beat the Brewers. Of course, that doesn't mean they will, but it does help me make my case that you are a steaming pile of idiot.
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